Sweet September: Holy (M)Boli

Slow news day? Not to worry. Meet Dr.Boli: one of the blogosphere’s very intelligent and interesting blogger. Brought to you via NutellaonToast.

According to Dr.Boli’s home page

Today, at the age of 225, Dr. Boli still edits the magazine personally, at a time of life when other men might be considering an honorable retirement. As a concession, however, to his advancing years, he no longer writes every word of the magazine himself. At present he writes every other word, the intervening words being supplied by a well-known agency

here are some samples of the ‘boliramic’ posts I enjoyed

ANNOUNCEMENT.

Traffic alert. Secret Service agents and local police have closed off the Panther Hollow Bridge while King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia changes a tire on his Mercedes.

ANNOUNCEMENT.

Traffic alert.  All of Schenly park is now closed, as the tire problem has proved somewhat more intractable than originally anticipated. A new Mercedes is being airlifted in by helicopter transport.

ANNOUNCEMENT.

FOR IMMEDIATE SALE: 2009 Mercedes S-class. Gold-plated. Bulletproof glass. One flat tire. Several dents in hood from ornate jeweled walking-stick. Apply to the United States Secret Service or the Embassy of Saudi Arabia for more details.

ANNOUNCEMENT.

Lost and found. An ornate jeweled walking stick, somewhat bent and with considerable damage to the head, was found in the shrubbery at the end of the Panther Hollow Bridge. The owner may claim it by describing the item at the Phipps Conservatory membership desk.

DR.BOLI’S ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MISINFORMATION

A Special Supplement for the Pittsburgh Summit.

Canada. By an embarrassing oversight, Canada was left out of the three previous G-20 summits, but Canadian delegates were too polite to say anything.

India. There are more electric kettles in Mumbai than there are on the entire continent of South America.

Italy. As an elaborate prank on Prime Minister Berlusconi, the jocular Italians have elected an entirely different government in his absence. Won’t he be surprised when he gets back!

Russia. As part of a recent economic-reform package, the Russian government is now operated on a for-profit basis by IKEA of Sweden

South Korea. It is reported that the South Korean delegation will not sign any agreement unless the United States promises to increase its consumption of mediocre pianos.

United States. President Barack Obama can write classical Greek with his right hand while simultaneously writing Sanskrit with his left, although he cannot read either language.

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