Have Dinner With Me Tonight..?


My son, just three weeks shy of his 18th birthday, invited me for dinner last night. Who in their right mind would decline?

Being a single parent from the ‘East’ moving into the ‘West’, I have always found it a challenge to strike the right balance in parenting. Am I too being too soft or too harsh, am I being very understanding or very difficult, am I policing everything he does or letting him run wild, am I too judgemental or too liberal..and on and on. Some well wishers(??)  from two-parent families with children of their own kept warning me of the pitfalls of single-parenthood every time I saw them, adding to my growing anxiety. But there was always something about my son and his sensitivity that made my day.

I remember in 2003, I was contemplating buying a condo for us. He was only 12 years old but was fascinated by the multiple calculations and options I was charting in my journal to finish the deal. At his request I walked him through the mechanics of saving and mortgage. At that time, he made no comments except to express his grasp of the terminologies.

In 2006, he turned 15 and was legally employable. As soon as he expressed interest in a part time job, I opened a checking and savings account for him. I advised him that his potential employer would be depositing his wages into his checking account. He was free to spend every penny he earned, however, if he were to move any funds from checking into savings account, I would match that amount, thereby his savings would grow easily along with the interest. I also warned him that any amount he withdrew from savings account, I would also withdraw identical amount. At that time, he said: “That’s fair! “,and till date  he has not withdrawn any money from his savings account!

In 2007, I walked him through personal grooming (shaving his facial hair and tying a tie-knot)…..man oh man,…was my style conservative or not..?? He laughed so much that the knot would not stay in place. Finally we found some helpful You Tube videos and together we both learnt the different ways of tying a tie-knot. We also went over social skills on how to treat a ‘gal’, how to be respectful of/to others, even if he disagreed with their views and opinions.

Last evening  my son asked me, “Have dinner with me tonight?’. He had made reservations at an upscale restaurant in downtown, groomed himself well and drove me to the restaurant, made small talks all through the drive and the dinner, asked me about my week, my work and my up coming projects. He sat through patiently even though at time his eyes would droop (he had pulled an all-nighter the previous night). He was very gracious to the servers and calmly drove me home.

Boy, oh, boy, what a treat, did I do good with him or what..?

10 Comments Add yours

  1. JK says:

    May ur happiness continue LIFE TIME….
    Shiv has taken u to a REAL FORMAL DINNER !!!
    Can see it from his dress TIE etc.
    very good . Feel very nice for you.
    Have many more such days.

  2. AT says:

    I am proud for you. You look gorgeous…. Keep going love..!!

  3. GG says:

    hay m: you looking great!
    your son looks like a latino dude, cool amigo.

    hey m: that was my son’s comments.

    ” what more does a parent want…? The love from a son to mom………. great. I am very happy….and yes it need to be BOASTED in my opinion. take care bye for now with love

  4. KB says:

    He looks really really smart!!! :)….. feeeels really goood!!! nice. proud of him!

  5. S.G says:

    AHHahahahaha omg im laughing so hard. This is SOOOO cute . srry i laugh for everything.
    I couldn’t help but smile when i was reading.
    You guys are adorable ❤ makes me jealous 😛

  6. Jaji says:

    That was so nice of him… Feel happy for you both…

  7. Bharat says:

    what a wonderful evening it would have been on friday to dine with him.

    aah….. aah….. really really great, with a surprise to MOM.

    really nice picture, he is really looking like a young gentleman , ofcourse smart too.

    may god bless him to do what he wishes ,

    thats it, bye

  8. g3 says:

    The way your son has grown up speaks volumes that you have done a fabulous job. Being a successful mother doesn’t depend on single/married status – the key factor is the willingness to be a good/mom, friend , philosopher &guide. You go gal !!!

  9. Latha says:

    Hi M…..I just happened to see your Birthday-Restaurant pictures. Sooooooooo beautiful. I love you both. You guys look fantastic. Enjoy your motherhood. You deserve it.

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