Sometimes I hear people say that they have hope things will get better. They hope that times will change, their luck will change, their relationships will change, their body will change, their job will change, their finances will change. Makes me wonder if they are equating ‘hope’ to just a ‘wish, while sitting firmly on their rear-sides.
I think ‘Hope’ is more than a wish. Hope is very dynamic and calls for action along with that tiny idea/desire/wish, call it what you will, ELSE, it will remain a penny thrown behind your back into the wish-pool. I think if one says one hopes for something, one better be willing to expend some elbow-grease towards that hope or might as well call it ‘wool-gathering’.
Folks, if you say you have hope, DO something, anything, everything ever possible . Do not let go, keep on keeping on!
“Hope has two beautiful daughters – their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are.” – St. Augustine
….Last week I was whining about a bee under my bonnet. That bee crept in months ago from my discussion with a mature man. (Bonus questions: Is there such a thing as a mature man? Heuristically at what age is a man considered mature?).
Anyhoo, the man in question told me that he loves his family & friends but he doesn’t care whether they agree with him or not. It is what is in his mind (his love/his feelings) that counts, not what the other person thinks or feels.
I was trying to explain to him that it is not enough for any person to say ‘I love so & so’. It is for the ‘so & so’ to be able to feel that love and say, ‘I feel loved by him/her’. My co-debater claimed that he was not responsible for how the other person feels, he would only go by how he feels as he cannot please everyone. I agreed with him that one cannot please everyone but family and friends are not everyone – they are special some-ones who deserve to be cared about. Yeah, you guessed it, he called me dramatic & promptly disagreed!
Now here is my question to you: Who decides who is loved? The giver or the receiver? If this is too d’uh for some of you, let’s try this….Who decides what is hurtful? The one who lashed out viciously or the one who received it?
I am very curious to know your thoughts as I am not sure if this is just another of those ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus’ pegs or just me being ‘totally out of touch’.
Update: Anthony Robbins to the rescue: “Conviction is worthless unless it is converted into conduct”.~Thomas Carlyle.
Thus, the belief of love in one’a mind is worthless unless it is shown in behaviour, not Martian behaviour, but general, rule of thumb, human behaviour.
Also irrespective of expectations galore, from the tenets of communication: it is the sender’s responsibility to ensure the message has been received and understood by the receiver. Soooooooooo, much as I hate to say it, somebody est mal. C’est la vie mes amis, c’est la vie!
If like me you too are enamoured by the cherry blossoms, do try to make it to this festival on my behalf too:
A Once In A Lifetime Celebration
In 1912, an incredible gift of 3,000 cherry blossom trees was bestowed on Washington, DC by Tokyo, Japan. Rooted strongly and surviving outside elements, the trees have withstood the test of time – and nearly a century later, the National Cherry Blossom Festival is preparing for an unprecedented and once-in-a-lifetime celebration.
The epic 5-week spectacular, from March 20 – April 27, 2012, will unify and electrify the city, the nation, and the world. Washington, DC and the region will be abuzz with excitement. Creativity and innovation will permeate signature Festival events elevating them to new heights, and ground-breaking Centennial exhibitions and programming will amaze and delight. Timeless traditions. Rich culture. Renowned artists. World-class performers. The community at its best!
***** CAUTION: Major Whine Alert *****
About once every two-three months, my bus-buddies and I try to meet up at a local cafe, where we spend a few minutes unloading our ‘beefs’, sharing some good moments, some bad moments, some challenges, some good laughs, holding hands and shaking our heads at our sons. We always walk out so much better than we walked in. Having missed the last two such meetings, I am now overdue for some whining……so my apologies in advance for taking it all out on you. Seriously…….
So, this is what happened, my twenty year old son and I for most part have a very engaging, enduring and easy relationship. We share lots of information, sometimes personal and private up to a limit of course. There are always somethings that are “too much information” and we respect that. The tone was never an issue, as right from his younger days I set rules on what tones are acceptable and not all all times when engaging with another person and he got that. But context was a different matter totally. What was ‘now’ and ‘immediate’ to me had a different connotation for him. What was ‘lemme think about it’ somehow magically became ‘it’s gonna be a No’ for him. It reached a point where I was thinking about asking my hair-stylist for a price-reduction hoping that she would take pity on me and glue back some hair on my poor scalp. When after some futile back and forth with him last week I gave up…..only to have him call me the very next day, apologize and say cheekily that I was right all along. Hrrrrrrr, I could have licked dry that Californian Shiraz sitting in my cabinet….ummmmm.
And then there was another bee under my bonnet for which I engaged another young friend of TDPP from miles afar. This is a young, thoughtful, resourceful and deep-valued man, in my opinion and I very much enjoy debating with him. I hoped to send a thought-provoking email on childrens’ duties to their parents. After few days I received a reply from him and it was interesting to see that what was ‘duty’ and ‘responsibility’ in my mind had a different connotation for him. He had somehow equated ‘duty to parents’ to mean ‘loving parents’ and went off on a tangent about being judgemental, ya da,ya da….Hrrrrr, I could have licked dry that Californian Shiraz sitting in my cabinet…..umm.
Talk about the bane and boon of words-go figure!