Time For (Late Night) Election Special Chuckles

“Congratulations to President Obama on being reelected president of the United States. Turns out it is not all bad news for the Republicans. It seems that depression is covered by Obamacare.” –Jay Leno

“In his victory speech last night, President Obama told his daughters that they would not be getting another dog. When asked why, the president said, ‘Because I just made Mitt Romney my bitch.” –Conan O’Brien

“Some Republicans are taking it hard. Clint Eastwood spent the entire day buying drinks for an empty bar stool.” –David Letterman

“The long national nightmare is finally over. We have expressed our will at the polls. The results have been tallied and we proved once again that American democracy is alive and well — even if Florida was more confused than an old person with an iPhone.” –Craig Ferguson

“The presidential election is that special time every four years when Americans gather around their TVs to be reminded where the states are on a map.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Trump is not giving up. When it was announced that President Obama easily won the Electoral College, Trump demanded to see Obama’s Electoral College records.” –Jay Leno

“Keep in mind, this was no landslide, folks. It was like a 51-49er. Just because Obama won these blue states up here, he’s the president of all of them now? Look, Romney won all that red stuff. Why don’t we elect our president on square footage? Because Romney won some big states, folks, whole damn south.” –Stephen Colbert

Special thanks to:Daily Kos & this site

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