My Daughter’s Wedding- A Post By MCT

Sorry for the delay in posting this lovely post from our friend Michael from Auz.  TDPP  extends our hearty wishes to the happy family: yes, folks , it is never late to share a joy!

Dear all,

On Saturday 8th October 2011 our daughter Rebekah was married to Warren at Ikatan Day Spa in Doonan QLD.

They have a house in Sunshine beach and it is where they go to relax and have fun, so it was the ideal place to be married.

People asked me as the FOB (father of the bride) if i was sad and emotional. I’ll return to that question, but firstly i want to say how beautiful my daughter looked (goddess was the term most people used), and how privileged i was to walk her down the long and winding path through the garden where they were married.

I want to thank Warren for allowing Rebekah to have a Minister of the Anglican Church marry them (Roger Featherstone was amazing). It was very important to her, and to us, to have a minister marry them and not only a legal representative. As you know we believe that God is real and true.

And so as the FOB I was asked if I was sad giving my daughter away.

I love Rebekah, I remember placing her in our bed the first night that Chrissie was in hospital delivering Renton and she was not yet 12 months old. Would I roll over and crush her? What was the best thing to do? Should I just bring her cot into our room?

Rebekah grew tall and strong as though she didn’t need me and I think in retrospect I stayed away too much waiting for her to ask rather than intruding

Parenthood is so complex. Are we friends? Are we lawyers? Do we provide boundaries or leave it to society?

In her teens, Rebekah broke a school rule and the School said they would deal with it. I was relieved. They were the bad guys and I could be the good guy. But then i remembered what Jesus said: a father who truly loves his child will reprimand and correct. It is an act of love.

It was the hardest thing i have ever done. I so loved Rebekah that i wanted to avoid any form of reprimand but i knew that if I really loved her beyond my own insecurity i would have to act. And so i did.

I used to do a lot of work with the Salvos. One time I was being the speaker and i said that the problem with wild children was that they didn’t know the difference between right and wrong. Later a lovely Minister (Officer) who had been working with street kids his whole life pointed out that I was wrong: everyone knows the difference between right and wrong, he said.

The problem for street kids is that their parents don’t love them enough to correct them. So they push harder at boundaries hoping for a reaction, and when it doesn’t come they get into trouble. We only experience love when we experience someone caring enough for us that they tell us we are wrong.

At Rebekah’s wedding we met Jimmy. Jimmy runs Koto which is a school / restraunt / family in Vietnam that allows street kids to learn a skill, graduate with a recognised certificate, and get a real job. As I asked lots of questions he said that the kids need love, need to experience love for perhaps the first time in their lives.

Was I emotional about giving my daughter away?

No.

I know that I love Rebekah and that she loves me. I know that getting married wont interfere with our love for each other. I hope to show my love to Warren also.

Jesus teaches me that love never ends. Love is patient and kind. Love corrects and counsels. Love is transportable.

My faith in Jesus is complete. We gave Rebekah to Jesus when she was born (we call it baptism). I did not give her to Warren last Saturday, we already gave her to Christ.

May Peace be with you,
MCT